no.55 - Musical Infatuation

Every once in a while a song comes along that stops me dead. I hear it, mesmerized, and I have to hear it again. It is so good, so delicious, so inspiring that I crave it in my blood.

The second listening is sheer joy, fulfilling my need, but still filled with the delight of anticipation.

The third time I hear it is perfection. I feel that not only is the song great, but music itself is humankind's greatest gift.

I recently found such a song, and walking along I was filled with inspiration and joy. For three minutes the world was filled with possibility. I could be and do anything. It was, without question, a high. Then, as the song sounded its last note I remembered what comes next...

I know from experience that I will never enjoy this song that much again.

This demon almost always resides between the third and fourth listening, where surprise wanes and focus diminishes. The song is still good, but the gloss is just a little worn. In the worst and most frequent cases, the pleasure of the song will eventually be replaced with the tired feeling of having heard it too much — a feeling that can persist for years (especially if I have exercised no impulse control and listened over and over despite myself).

I can do nothing to control this phenomenon. Many songs will wane quickly. In retrospect some of these songs are deeply embarrassing choices (I'm looking at you, Men Without Hats). Others songs I will always love... even if the honeymoon is over.