no.36 - The Speed of a Boy

Last night, while archiving old tapes, I came across some video of myself running. The footage in question was not exciting sprints from my youth or analysis of my long distance form. No. It was ridiculous scenes of my friend Sean and I engaged in an absurd, poorly-acted chase with an improvised plot.

It all amused me until I remembered how fast I once had been. Through the grace of youth and genes I had once been given the gift of speed.

Looking at the footage I began to feel something akin to regret. It is hard not to long for a time when I was free to play in a field all day and to videotape the nonsense to boot.

But the beauty of that spring day and the ridiculous behavior captured on that videotape obscures the fact that 18 years ago I had no real job, few prospects and a lot of worry. I was thin and quick, yes, but I was taut with with a gnawing worry at my uncertain future.