no.26 - Lara Flynn Boyle
Looking like a villain out of the old Dick Tracy comics, Lara Flynn My wife: Lara Flynn Boyle looks awful.
Me: That is not Lara Flynn Boyle.
My wife: Yes it is.
Me: Not it's not.
My wife: Yes it is.
Me: Not it's not.
My wife: Yes it is.
Me: Not it's not.
My wife: It is.
Me, wandering over towards the computer to check: I really do not think it...
My wife, smiling: Yes it is.
Me, discovering once again that my wife is right: Holy crap!
Ms. Flynn Boyle's face looked like a puffy bag of poorly administered injections. Her lips would have looked more natural if she had bought a wax pair and held them between her teeth. Her forehead and cheeks were nearly immobile, like a stroke victim's. She could barely speak, let alone act. I started to feel bad because, perhaps she had suffered a stroke or was on steroids for some unknown medical condition.
The one ray of hope? She appeared to have put on a little weight, which she desperately needs. Unfortunately when I saw the two little pencils she was hobbling along on, and the prominent display of ribs and vertebrae in the unfortunate and strangely gratuitous bikini scene, I realized she isn't any healthier - she just has a few extra pounds of botulism in her face.
As the episode itself dragged on two things became clear. The first was that the writers of Law & Order are no longer content to rip their stories from a single headline. I'm sure it's boring for them and it would now appear they must rip two headlines and put them together at random. In this case they stitched together Michael Vick's dogfighting and fake vintage wine. There was a third "theme" about whorey reporters, but I don't think this was taken from the news.
The second thing that was clear was that the writers can't stand Lara Flynn Boyle. Maybe they resent having to write lines for a faceful of mumbling Botox, but they took every possible opportunity to humiliate her, at one point having a theoretically respectable DA refer to her as a "lying slut" and, of course, writing in a completely unnecessary scene that required her to strip down to a bikini and slide her bony ass into a hot tub while two police watched from a conveniently placed rooftop nearby. In the end her character collapses into a quivering heap, realizing the consequence of her terrible, terrible sluttiness.
The thing that disturbs me most is that I now share at least some of the writers' distaste. They, and I, should clearly feel pity for a woman who must be oblivious to any of this. Does she have any friends? Couldn't someone suggest to her that maybe she stop putting collagen and botulism in her face? Maybe over dinner? Please?
Labels: Botox, Lara Flynn Boyle, Laura Flynn Boyle, Plastic Sugery
posted by Katsoulis | 9:36 AM
4 Comments:
No kidding I ADORE LFB, she has one of the most beautiful faces in the world. However she has done a number on her natural looks recently. Eh must be the new hubby's idea.
I will still support her but I hope someone stops her before she becomes a mockery of her former self
"I hope someone stops her before she becomes a mockery of her former self"
Too late!
How can you mock her when you can't even get her name right? She is Lara Flynn Boyle! And she was great in Twin Peaks. Maybe she is possessed by Bob these days?
It is entirely possible to mock a person without being able spell their name, or even to know it. It has happened many times to me.
Can I be faulted for my error when I have been so filled with nausea for a week now thinking about the day when those lips pop?
Nevertheless, I have corrected the spelling of her name and I thank you for bringing this error to my attention.
(She was good in Twin Peaks, not great. It is easy to be confused because Twin Peaks was, itself, great.)
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