no.3 - the flickr creep

When I see that square expressionless Flickr head looking at me with his blank mouth and empty eyes, my heart sinks. If he is not adding me as a friend, he is asking to join the group that I started for my photography business. The little graphic looks benign. It's just a placeholder. It's the default icon that most users replace within minute of joining Flickr. But that face also hides a sinister secret.

When someone wants to join my group or add me as a friend, the logical thing is to check who is asking. That is when the trouble begins.

There is a chance he is just a normal person who forgot to add an icon. Not everyone is technically savvy. But mostly, when I see that creepy face, it is something far worse than negligence. When I click their icon, I am transported to their photos and I am left desperately wishing I had an emergency chemical eye-wash station nearby.

I am not a porn guy. Bad photography of genitals, boob jobs and drug addled actors doesn't appeal to me for some strange reason. Why the creepy Flickr guy wants to add me as his friend is a mystery. What would we possibly have to say to each other?

But the unpleasant truth of the matter is they are hoping to see more. More of whatever it is they find titillating. Or they enjoy the idea of making people ill with their photos.

no.2 - the glossy shiny bug of gadgety lust

When Apple announced the MacBook Air, I took one look at my beautiful, sleek and lovely MacBook Pro and realized it now looked thick, chunky and old. I have had it for just over a year, and in both form and function, it is truly amazing.

Nothing changed when the Air arrived. In fact, my year old MacBook Pro is a more capable and robust machine. I don't even want an Air, so why should it serve to make my machine seem suddenly aged?

It troubles me that I can be manipulated this way. I would worry that it is some primal male need for the new, except that I'm pretty sure fashion manipulates in exactly the same.

Do the designers know they are doing this? When they design the new iPod, do they consider not only how to make the new one look appealing, but do they also take pains to make each curve, line and thickness make the old one look like a scratched up turd?

They must.

My MacBook Pro must have sensed something. As I powered it up the other night, it suddenly kicked off and died. A month out of warranty it was killed, perhaps, by the anorexia of another computer.

no.1 - blog ennui

Lynda Barry has a magnificent book called "100 Demons." In it, she uses a Japanese painting exercise to illustrate and explore 100 metaphorical demons from her past. It has been several years since I first read the book and I have often thought it would be an amazing exercise.

I did not want to copy her, but I thought that if she could derive inspiration from a 16th century zen monk named Hakuin Ekaku, then why can't I derive inspiration from her?

The hundred demons, often represented on parade, seemed like an excellent blog format, allowing me to explore things that are irksome, vexing, infuriating and just plain wrong — the perfect exercise for someone raised with a talent and an eye for complaint.

But 100 demons did not seem enough. With only 100 demons, I could blog twice a week for a year and it would be over. Surely I could show more ambition than that! So I added a zero. 1000 demons, it turns out, also has significance as a buddhist test in which one must enter a room of 1000 demons and find the path to the other side.

Besides, 100demons.com was taken.

But lets face it. Most blogs last no more than a few months. Many, only a week or two. It is easy to get inspired to blog, but even easier to be daunted by the seeming necessity to update frequently and well.

So, here is to the first demon, who I intend to see defeated, nine-hundred and ninety-nine posts from now.